A beginner’s guide to meditation
A Beginner's Guide to Meditation
Where do I start? This is the question I am most often asked by people new to meditation. If the idea of meditation makes you nervous or skeptical, you are not alone. Many people have the notion that meditation is not really for them. They may be envisioning a peaceful, euphoric, or mystical experience that seems out of touch with reality. However, it can be helpful to view meditation not as the end goal, but as a practice that helps us in other aspects of life. In other words, during meditation we practice working with our thoughts and feelings so that we reap the benefits when we go about our daily lives, "off-cushion."
One practice I recommend to people new to meditation is called Shamatha, a Sanskrit word that translates to mean "calm abiding." In Tibetan it is shi-né, which means "stillness" and "dwelling there." Shamatha meditation is considered a foundational practice across many Buddhist traditions and is a good prelude to other forms of meditation, including those that involve visualization.
The technique might at first seem too simple to work: find a comfortable seat, let your spine be long without being rigid, and close your eyes (if that feels comfortable). Then follow your own breath. You are not controlling it or changing the breath, just noticing it. You might notice the subtle rise and fall, or the slight coolness of the inhale. If simply following the breath feels too difficult at first, you can count each breath quietly, or label each breath ("inhale…exhale…"). Research suggests that even two to five minutes a day of meditating like this can have beneficial outcomes.
One thing to consider: this is not about forcing the mind into peace. As Pema Chödrön puts it, we are not creating a peaceful state; rather, we are simply letting the mind be as it already is. When the mind settles, it's not because we've controlled it. It's because we've stopped fighting it.
When you first sit down to meditate, your mind may feel more busy than ever. This is not a sign that you're doing it wrong. Instead, it may be a sign that you are beginning to observe your own mind with some degree of clarity. And the mind, it turns out, is very busy! Over time you may begin to notice your habitual thought patterns. Where the mind goes when left to its own devices. What it returns to, again and again. What it worries over, replays, avoids. The practice provides an opportunity to observe all of this without judgment and to meet your own thoughts with a kind of gentle, curious awareness rather than criticism or alarm. Over time you might begin to find that thoughts and emotions that once felt overwhelming may lose a little of their grip.
It's important to keep in mind that meditating in this way can be uncomfortable, especially at first. Sitting quietly with your own mind means it will take you places, and these are not always places you want to visit. Difficult memories surface. Old anxieties reappear. This is normal, and it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. If the discomfort feels manageable, try to stay with it gently, as it often passes. But if at any point the experience feels genuinely painful or overwhelming, it is always okay to simply open your eyes and come out of the meditation. Knowing your limits is itself a form of self-awareness.
Three books I love for beginners
If you would like to go deeper, these are three books I return to again and again:
How to Meditate by Pema Chödrön introduces meditation in a way that is warm, honest, and completely free of pretension. She frames the whole endeavor as "making friends with your mind” which I find to be a helpful approach.
The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhất Hạnh is a short, beautiful book that honors the ancient practice of Buddhist meditation while making it feel entirely accessible. He describes the first gifts of meditation as stopping, calming, resting, and healing (in that order). You cannot have the later ones without the earlier ones.
The Art of Meditation by Matthieu Ricard is also an excellent introduction to meditation that also offers an analytical lens to the practice. While Ricard is a Buddhist monk, he also holds a doctorate in molecular biology, and he brings both perspectives to bear. For those who appreciate a scientific grounding, this book may be your speed.
Final thought: you don't need a special cushion, expensive props, or years of practice to meditate. You just need a few minutes, a willingness to try, and a little patience with yourself.
That's more than enough to begin.